Relationships in the Premarital Period

We are born, grow, and develop within relationships. Relationships affect our lives in many positive and negative ways. According to the 75-year Harvard Adult Development Study, relationships make people happier than fame or money. It has been found that individuals who maintain high-quality relationships with their close ones (family, spouse, friends, and social environment) cope better with life’s difficulties and experience slower physical and mental decline. It has also been found that individuals in unhappy marriages experience greater emotional and physical pain. Another study has shown that marital stress poses a health risk for both children and adults.

Strengthening the relationship during the premarital period and understanding aspects that are not going well are important in preventing potential problems in marriage. Weaknesses that are ignored or remain unnoticed during the premarital period often turn into more serious problems after marriage.

According to research, there are three factors that predict a happy marriage:

1. Individual Characteristics

This includes personality traits, emotional health, as well as values, attitudes, and beliefs. For example, flexibility and self-esteem positively influence marriage, whereas depression, impulsivity, low self-esteem, and dysfunctional beliefs about marriage (e.g., “disagreement is bad,” “partners cannot change”) negatively affect it. Flexibility and strong interpersonal skills are among the factors that contribute positively to marital satisfaction.

2. Relationship and Personal Context

This includes family-related factors such as parents’ marriage, the quality of the individual’s relationship with their parents, conflictual family structures, family support, and whether parents and friends approve of the marriage. Sociocultural factors such as early marriage, education level, and employment status also influence marital quality.

3. Couple Characteristics

This includes communication between partners, conflict management skills, how well the couple knows each other, and the similarity of values and goals. In addition, openness to new experiences has been found to be associated with higher relationship satisfaction.

Understanding the factors that affect marital satisfaction is the first step. The second step is evaluating how these factors relate to you and your own relationship. The premarital period is a stage in which couples are generally more emotionally connected and satisfied compared to other stages of the relationship, making it a meaningful time to discuss these issues before marriage.

Strengthening your relationship before marriage can help prevent potential problems and support a more satisfying marital life. Therefore, premarital counseling can be considered an important supportive process.

Source: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)