Adjustment and Behavioral Problems

Behavioral disorders emerge when children reflect their internal conflicts through their behaviors due to various psychological or physical causes. Behaviors such as irritability, nervousness, aggression, stubbornness, lying, stealing, and swearing are considered within the scope of behavioral problems.

For a child’s behavior to be considered a behavioral disorder, certain criteria must be met.

Criteria for Behavioral Disorders

1. Age Appropriateness

Each developmental stage has its own characteristic behaviors. Therefore, it is important to understand the developmental characteristics of the child’s current age period.

For example, a two-year-old child may display negativistic behavior, high activity levels, and resistance to doing what is requested. During this period—which corresponds to Sigmund Freud’s anal stage and Erik Erikson’s stage of autonomy versus shame and doubt—the child learns to become an autonomous individual. The child may refuse to have their diaper changed or reject being kissed when they do not want it.

Children between the ages of 3–5 often seek attention. Since their imagination is highly developed, they may tell extraordinary stories. At this stage, they cannot yet fully distinguish between truth and falsehood. Therefore, stories told by children at this age are not generally considered lies. However, lying behavior observed in children between the ages of 11–14 may be evaluated as behavior that deviates from normal development.

2. Intensity

Another criterion for considering a behavior as problematic is its intensity.

For example, anger and irritability may be natural behaviors in a five-year-old child. However, if these behaviors turn into physically harming others, they may fall into the category of behavioral disorders.

3. Continuity

This refers to the persistent and long-term continuation of a particular behavior pattern by the child.

4. Gender Role Expectations

While boys are often socially expected to display more aggressive behaviors than girls, girls who display aggression similar to boys may sometimes be viewed as exhibiting behaviors that deviate from social norms.

General Causes of Behavioral Disorders

Attention Seeking

When children do not receive sufficient love, attention, or quality time, they may develop behavioral problems in order to attract attention.

Desire to Gain Power Over Parents

Children may display problematic behaviors as a way of gaining control or asserting power in their relationships with their parents.

Desire for Revenge

Children who are physically punished or deprived of affection may develop feelings of revenge toward their parents. Excessively authoritarian and oppressive parenting styles, along with rigid discipline, may lead to feelings of anger and resentment toward parents and contribute to the development of rebellious behavior.

Feelings of Inadequacy

A lack of self-confidence may also contribute to behavioral problems. Overprotective or overly tolerant parenting styles, as well as excessive control and attention, may result in the child becoming overly dependent on others, emotionally fragile, and lacking self-confidence. Such conditions may prevent the child from developing independence and contribute to behavioral difficulties.

How to Build Positive Relationships with Children Who Have Behavioral Problems

1. Mutual Respect

Scolding, yelling, hitting, silencing, or behaving inconsistently toward a child are signs of disrespect. Every parent should learn to show respect to their child. Each child should be treated as an individual, their opinions should be asked, and their ideas should be respected.

2. Spending Time with the Child

Children need attention and quality time. The quality of time spent together is more important than the quantity. Parents can engage in activities that the child enjoys.

3. Encouragement

If parents want their child to develop self-confidence, they must first trust the child themselves. They should praise and encourage the child’s efforts. Encouragement is essential for helping children perceive themselves as valuable individuals. It means accepting the child as they are and valuing them simply for being themselves.

4. Expressing Love

In order for children to feel secure, they need to know that they are loved and accepted.